"I don't like babies"

"I don't like babies".

There. It has been said. 

Trying to explain (usually to a woman) why you do not like babies is futile. Especially at my age. If only people were more logical about that whole thing.

Just do it

"Just do it!".

As an obsessive fitness and health freak, I can see how this moto is great advice for putting on your runners and getting out the door at 5am in the morning when it is so cold that you can not feel your nose. Just do it.

But when it comes to having a child, I find this advice reckless and irresponsible.

...Dog shit on the Avenue des Champs Elysees

I know I could never be a mother because I once stepped in dog shit on the Avenue des Champs Elysees.

#selfindulgent

troll¹

trəʊl,trɒl/

noun

1. (in folklore) an ugly cave-dwelling creature depicted as either a giant or a dwarf.

This is the response Google provides when you aske it to define troll. How fitting that internet trolls are named accordingly. 

Over the weekend I stopped by hell

Over the weekend, I stopped by hell.

Or at least I thought I was going to. I've been to hell enough times to know where that station is on the line. For the most part, I avoid hell by taking alternate routes. On this occasion such a tactic was not an option.

By hell, I am obviously referring to a Baby Shower.