"I don't like babies"

"I don't like babies".

There. It has been said. 

Trying to explain (usually to a woman) why you do not like babies is futile. Especially at my age. If only people were more logical about that whole thing.

Just do it

"Just do it!".

As an obsessive fitness and health freak, I can see how this moto is great advice for putting on your runners and getting out the door at 5am in the morning when it is so cold that you can not feel your nose. Just do it.

But when it comes to having a child, I find this advice reckless and irresponsible.

...Dog shit on the Avenue des Champs Elysees

I know I could never be a mother because I once stepped in dog shit on the Avenue des Champs Elysees.

#selfindulgent

troll¹

trəʊl,trɒl/

noun

1. (in folklore) an ugly cave-dwelling creature depicted as either a giant or a dwarf.

This is the response Google provides when you aske it to define troll. How fitting that internet trolls are named accordingly. 

Over the weekend I stopped by hell

Over the weekend, I stopped by hell.

Or at least I thought I was going to. I've been to hell enough times to know where that station is on the line. For the most part, I avoid hell by taking alternate routes. On this occasion such a tactic was not an option.

By hell, I am obviously referring to a Baby Shower.

"Please don't poop on your ball!"

"Please don't poop on your ball!".

Earlier this week something not out of the ordinary happened and then something wonderful occurred to me. Something so profound that I thought about it all the way home and into the following day. And now I am blogging about it.

"I am too crazy to have a kid"

"I am too crazy to have a kid".

Another wonderful gem of wisdom that has oft fallen from my overactive mouth. If you are thinking that such a sentiment is offensive, I fully agree with you.

"I'm too intelligent to have children"

"I'm too intelligent to have a child".

I am positive that at some point in my 30 years of wandering often aimlessly around this rock, I would have said this. I was an outspoken child who was quite impetuous when it came to dealing out my strong opinions. Some people might argue that nothing has changed, but I would like to think I have been around long enough to have learnt some tact and diplomacy.

Procrastination and the Research Student

There is nothing quite like the feeling of being a postgraduate research student. Of course coursework assignment deadlines and exams bring with them their own distinctive form of panic driven anxiety that robs you of your social life and much needed sleep. But this is usually short-term. The experience of a research student is unique; it is a faint yet constant pressure that gradually eats away the soul.

I'm never getting married

"I'm never getting married".

This is a statement I have asserted with conviction frequently and without apology for the vast majority of my life.